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Holidays and Gifting

December 5th, 2022 at 05:47 pm

I really do love the holidays! I enjoy getting together with friends and family to celebrate life, and giving thanks, and reflecting on the year gone by and the new one approaching. I especially love hosting Christmas Eve, preparing a wonderful meal, and spending the day/evening with all of my favorite people. 

But what I don't love is the gift buying. I feel like such a grinch just typing that! These days, I just don't need or want any more "stuff". And anything I do need, I prefer to buy myself as I know exactly what I like. We don't have any young children in my family anymore so it's just us adults. Honestly, I could do without receiving and giving gifts. I think I would enjoy the holidays even more without the stress of it all. 

The problem is that I am the only one in my family that feels this way. Everyone else loves gift giving. My sister especially who lives in Texas (we are all in Maryland). I think it makes her feel closer to us to have gifts to open, a little piece of "home". So, I go along with it because it seems to make everyone else happy, and I don't want to spoil that for them.

This year, I just asked for gift cards and when I got some resistance because it "felt like an impersonal gift" I really stuck to my guns and assurred everyone that that was really what I wanted (and it is). 

Does anyone else struggle with this? I guess in the grand sceme of things it really isn't a big deal. It's something we do to make the people we love happy, even if it goes against what makes us happy. I save for it all year so I have the money put aside, so this isn't a financial strain issue. 

Well, I have rambled on about this enough! I hope this all made some kind of sense. 

6 Responses to “Holidays and Gifting”

  1. CB in the City Says:
    1670274534

    For sure, I would love it if my family dropped the gift giving. But I am in the same position as you. Everyone else LOVES it! I mean LOVES it. I just cope. I try to focus on the beauty of the season, do the best I can with gift-buying, and let it go.

  2. Lots of Ideas Says:
    1670275576

    We moved to a Yankee Swap about 10 years ago. We usually have a theme, but one of my nephew explained it that ‘it’s mostly aldpcohol. You can make that go with any theme.’ When we had underage participants a few of us included other kinds of gifts and somehow the kids always ended up with them.

    I like it because it does really reduce the stress. We don’t know each other that well any more, some of us have too much stuff and some too little money. We always have some laughter around it.

    I don’t like it because it reminds me that I am essentially alone with no one who loves me and knows me well enough to buy me presents. I also really enjoyed wrapping, and I miss that. For many years I wrapped for my company’s toy drive - even after I retired - but covid ended that.

    Holidays have a cycle and when your family reaches ‘all adults’ can be a tough transition.

    I try to find joy where I can.

  3. Petunia 100 Says:
    1670276019

    My family generally does not exchange gifts except for young children. If any gifts are given to adults, they are chocolates or jams, baked goods, etc.

    I love this tradition. It is so much nicer than running around trying to choose gifts for people.

    For my own children, both adults, I just give them some cash.

  4. MonkeyMama Says:
    1670337845

    My family is the complete polar opposite (except for one over the top gift hog grandparent, which is why no one else wants to participate at all). Honestly, my preference would be some middle ground. I was more than happy with it when dealing with a substantially lower household income (when we preferred to have less money and be home with kids more), etc. But over the years, I don't like how all the fun has been sucked out of the holidays and that I can never buy anything for my nieces and nephews.

    On the plus side, it is certainly nice to not have any gift obligations whatsoever. This is my takeaway from this season of life. When we see the "perfect gift" we will buy it, but there's no stress about it. This is my takeaway for the future when maybe I have a little more control and we can decide what *we* actually want to do (for our kids and grandkids).

  5. Turtle Lover Says:
    1670593758

    I don't like buying Christmas gifts - just for the sake of buying "something" ... if I see something that somebody will like I will buy it and give it to them ... whenever it is. It's not that I'm anti-Christmas .... just anti "stuff" giving ... My new husband LOVES Christmas and gift buying - sometimes ... esp if you buy for teenagers ... they open the gift and throw it on the floor never to be seen again as they move on to their next gift ... to me that's just a waste of money! I told my husband from the beginning .... I don't buy Christmas gifts! I will fill stockings with fun little stuff but that's it. His birthday is right after Christmas so I buy him a gift then. I would much rather go somewhere and do something fun together -- this year was Trans-Siberian Orchestra - it was AWESOME and is and will be a great memory!

  6. terri77 Says:
    1671262238

    I love shopping & gifting, but also understand the need for less stuff. I’m probably hard to buy for as well because I buy whatever I want. This year I struggled to buy for my niece & nephew.

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